Moving stinks (sometimes literally). The packing, the dust, the disorganization, the goodbyes, the loneliness, the unfamiliar— moving is physically and emotionally taxing. And that’s coming from a person that has a lot of experience moving. There’s always a moment (often in the packing or loading boxes stage) where my entire being wants to walk away and disappear. Since that’s not an option and avoidance (looking through old photo albums, of course) just prolongs the physical and emotional unease, I’ve devised some strategies to stay semi-positive and semi-motivated.

Tip #1 Start Packing Early

Starting the packing process early— I’m talking, like, a month in advance— helps me to accept the process and decrease my overall stress. I like to go through things at a leisurely pace and feel satisfied when I see progress being made. Getting things packed also puts me in the mindset of transition— leaving the space I’ve been and entering a new space, physically and emotionally.

Tip #2 Attend to Your Emotions

TBH I’m terrible at this. I prefer to put my head down and power through the whole process, but that leaves me grumpy, isolated and sad. Having company while packing boxes or running to the hardware store or getting lunch makes the whole experience way less miserable. Listen to an audiobook, podcast, or put a movie on in the background. Talk on the phone with people while you pack. Take breaks, stay hydrated, feed yourself well and try not to go through the process alone.

Tip #3 Ask for Help

Never hurts to have an extra set of hands or more muscle. Moving is physically hard, so be mindful of your energy and know your limits. Having people help with the heavy lifting, packing, or organization can cut down on the time spent on an unpleasant task. And, again, having buddies around can make the process less miserable. Or save yourself the effort entirely and hire people!

Tip #4 Say Goodbye

Be intentional about goodbyes. I’ve moved so much in the past couple years that having another bon voyage party for me is a bit of joke with my Atlanta friends, but I’m going to plan something anyway. Why don’t I skip all of that and Irish-goodbye an entire city? I have regretted not acknowledging and honoring my relationships in the past. It’s important that I let people know how much they mean to me even though I’d rather not feel the grief and vulnerability that it entails.

Tip #5 Network Before the Move

If you’re in a support or social group of any kind, get connected before you even arrive. Look online and identify meetings and meet-ups near your new residence. Ask folks in your current network to connect you with folks at your new destination. Shamelessly ask for phone numbers and call or text them! Call local chapters of 12-step groups, mental health support groups, running clubs, religious communities, or whatever. Have some meet-ups, meetings, or events in your calendar to attend when you arrive. If reaching out to randoes feels too scary, research popular coffee shops or gyms in your new area. Doing the research ahead of time is one less thing to stress about once you arrive and getting into community as quickly as possible can take the edge off the loneliness.

Tip #6 Set Fun (S.M.A.R.T.) Goals

S.M.A.R.T. stands for specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time- bound. For example, setting a goal of “make new friends” is different than setting the goal of “invite a work colleague and their partner out for a double date by the end of the month.” Creating a community requires intention, so being specific and clear in the goal-setting yields better results.

I also enjoy open-ended fun goals that help me have a positive focus and attitude toward a place that isn’t my home yet. When I relocated to Atlanta (the most recent time), I set a goal to find the best Thai place in the city. I never found one that measured up to my fav in Houston (Thai Gourmet FOREVER), but it didn’t matter! It was still enjoyable researching and trying different spots. A goal for my upcoming move to Austin is to check out all the swimming holes since it will be the middle of summer when I arrive. This will motivate me to be outside, make the best of the heat, and explore different areas of the city. All things that are good for my wellness and increase the likelihood that I’ll actually like where I live!

Tip #7 Don’t Forget to Pivot

My brilliant proofreader-friend, Sadie, pointed out that I neglected the most important tip in moving— pivot.